Red Bulls sign Henry

After seeing the French light it up in the World Cup, the New York Red Bulls of MLS must have come away impressed by all of their players. Specifically, Thierry Henry, who they just signed to a multi-year contract.

“This marks an exciting new chapter in my career and life,” Henry said. “It is an honor to play for the New York Red Bulls.

“I am fully aware of the team’s history and my sole goal during my time here is to help win the club its first championship. Knowing Red Bull’s significant commitment to soccer locally and internationally, I am confident that my teammates and I will succeed.”

In other words, “I’m not that good anymore and can’t run like I used to. So I figure I’ll hang out in the U.S. for a little bit and play against woefully inferior competition. It should be easy. Believe me, I’ve accidentally caught MLS games on TV before.”

We’re actually excited to have Henry in the United States. The former FC Barcelona player still has just a wee bit in the tank.